my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
