Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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