you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
