Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
