just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
