why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
