Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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