Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
