if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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