If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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