He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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