Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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