Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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