Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
