oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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