I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
