just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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