no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
