I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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