I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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