Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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