i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
