"it" just moved
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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