are you still at the devil's house?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
