I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
