Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
