Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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