just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
