It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
