i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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