Having a random hookup so left but love u
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
