Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Randomize