Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
