Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
