Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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