Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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