so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Blood and glitter go together right?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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