I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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