R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
