hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
did i walk over a car last night?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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