you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
