Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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