she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
