hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
