Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize