Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
