matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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