Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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