you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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