I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
