I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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