I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
