Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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