Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize