Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
