I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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