the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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