i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Ladies don't puke and tell
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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