i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
