Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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