I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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