Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Your dad touched me again.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
