My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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