so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize